Connecting with my 'Soul'

What a strange little card this one is....I have recently started using this really beautiful Soul Cards by Deborah Koff-Chapin, instead of my normal Runes.  I am loving them and find them surprisingly easy to read.  I didn't think I would as there is no explanation with them.  That said I went with the flow, trusted my intuition and am finding them just wonderful.....until this one came up!

I'm not sure at all about this.  I don't really care for the face, which that statement in itself tells me I need to have a little self enquiry session.  I feel it is a saintly spiritual card and the word Emergence comes to my mind quite strongly.  I find the hands disturbing - they denote to me Male Hands perhaps my male energy is helping me emerge from a vulnerable fragile place that I feel I have been for some months now.  It could be I am to allow a male figure to help me.  I will keep an open mind on this.

The eyes keep telling me Cat for some reason.  I will ponder it.  All in all it is quite a warm card which I feel advises me to listen to small flashes of wisdom which pop up on a regular basis.  I think I need to sit with this for a while longer.  Then I will do my best to journal my thoughts.

I didn't sleep last night much and felt very teary when I went to sleep.  Tears I guess are cleansing.  I don't do tears well.  I don't do vulnerable and fragile well.  I have had moments of real fuck off anger today followed by sad weepy slush.  Most bizarre.  It was therapeutic for me to write my very feeling mid-life hormonal blog last night but immediately felt really guilty that I wasn't the normal 'supermum' star that I normally see myself as.  It felt odd.  I cried again.

Today someone commented.  I was scared.  It was fine.  In fact it was better than fine it was wonderful.  Thank you Sue.  A divine woman whose blog 'the occasional adventures of Betty' is great itself.  Her words were like soul balm.  I am not very good at accepting balm.  I think I need practice.  I will get better at it.  I am still pondering this whole Grandma thing.  I feel it will be a big ponder.  That is OK.  So just a short one tonight but a post none the less.  We will see how this amazing unknown future journey will evolve....its all good.